Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy for Trauma

Posted on by Wendy E. Smith, MA, LMHC

At the beginning of my career, I trained with Les Greenberg, the pioneer of Emotion-Focused Therapy for individuals, as well as Roy Hodgson, in the use of the method for clearing up unfinished business and working with shame and anxiety.  Recently I have circled back and am receiving further training, mainly from Leanne Campbell, in the use of Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) for trauma treatment.  EFIT, developed by Sue Johnson, is the latest incarnation of Greenberg’s early work.

In this method, we reshape pivotal traumatic moments in the past that are affecting reactions in the present.  We do this by creating emotional encounters, often between the client’s current self and a younger version of the self, that allow for expanding their view of self and other and releasing emotion that the young self was unable to process without the presence of a caring adult.  Key to this work is the presence of the attuned therapist to provide support for the client who provides support for the young self.

Although the methods differ somewhat, this approach for treating trauma jibes very well with Janina Fisher’s parts work described in an earlier post.  Probably because it is so reminiscent of my early training with Greenberg and Hodgson, I am finding EFIT fits best for me as a therapist.

Thanks are due to the clients who have worked with me as I hone my EFIT for trauma skills.

 

 

Independence versus Interdependence in Relationship

Posted on by Wendy E. Smith, MA, LMHC

A lot of times, when couples come in to see me, one or both of the partners will have the idea that a problem in the relationship is that one or both of the partners is too dependent on the other. Often, in this regard, the partners will use the term “co-dependence” which has come into the vernacular from addiction theory and become sort of a dirty word.

Partners have the idea that a strong person stands on his own two feet and does not need things from his partner, and that needing things is “weak”. Certainly, being able to stand on one’s own two feet is a good and important life skill that helps us in many arenas, and through many challenges, of life. However, the whole purpose of being in a relationship is actually to be able to lean on another person and not go through life alone. Through our adult relationships, we get our attachment needs (those that earlier in life were hopefully met by our parents) met. Thus, when we are scared. we can reach for reassurance, when we are hurt, we can reach for comfort, when we feel ashamed, we can reach for acceptance and validation.

When both partners feel secure in a relationship (and here I often put the tips of my fingers together to form an A-frame shape) and can lean into the relationship for support, then the structure of the relationship is strong. In fact, a lot of the work we do in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is to help partners learn to reach for what they need from their partner and respond to their partner’s reaches in kind.

And here we get to the crux of the matter. The truth is that relationship distress occurs when partners are too scared to reach for what they need from each other. Instead, they try to get their attachment needs met through indirect means that lead to confusion, arguing, pursuit and withdrawal, and distance, instead of the result they are hoping for.  And, when there is distress in the relationship, it becomes even scarier to reach and lean in.  In fact, it takes a whole lot of courage.  It actually takes a lot more strength to learn to be interdependent with one’s partner than to stand separately on one’s own two feet.  Personal strength in relationship leads to interdependence which leads to a stronger relationship.  Independence, it turns out, is not all that it’s cracked up to be.